Last night, I was reading an update on a friend of ours who has been battling cancer for far too long... He's such a trooper and a comment he made to his dad just struck me. It made me laugh and broke my heart all at the same time and it made me think of Catie.. It made me think of Catie and all that kids with cancer have to endure and how their normal is so NOT normal... Most of the time, I can be ok with the fact that that was Catie's life. But last night it made me sad. So I walked into Izzy's room where she was sprawled out on her back sound asleep. I have been known in a moment like that to pick her up and carry her to the couch and snuggle her close. She's a pretty sound sleeper at night, so I can usually get by with that. But last night, I just laid down next to her and stroked that beautiful golden blonde hair and I prayed. "Dear God... Thank you for this beautiful child you have blessed us with... thank you for the innocence that she has. Thank you that a blood pressure cuff wigs her out a bit, even if it's on my arm. Thank you that she cries when her finger is pricked b/c it hurts and it's not routine for her. Thank you that her normal is normal (except maybe for her mom and dad :) )... And please God.... please, please let it always be this way. Protect her from the the things Catie had to know about.... Protect her and protect Chip...."
7 comments:
A beautiful, heartfelt prayer from a mom who's had to see too much. May the words of your prayer always be so for your two little ones--that they can honor their big sister's fight without ever having to be part of it in that way. Loving a child is such a breathtaking thing, isn't it? So passionate that it hurts. What a God we have, to give us this capacity, and what a God he must be, to love us so much more even than we love our children. I can't fathom it. Thanks for sharing.
--Kelley
ps. You were right about four-year-olds! The questions have been nonstop ever since my girl's birthday a couple of weeks ago! (:
That brought tears to my eyes. I've been know to pray that Logan will never know cancer as intimately as Joshua does....
Dido, that brought tears to my eyes also! I also pray your babies never ever know the 'normal' Catie Bug did! I will never understand why he takes our babies so early, I just know how special they are and he only takes the best! Hugs from Fort Worth!
Jenny - I've been reading about Catie for years (here and on her caringbridge page). That prayer is beautiufl - our son had a liver transplant and it's somewhat heartbreaking when he holds still for labs. Thanks for sharing.
Jen....you make me think about so much in each entry you write....thanks for sharing your heart. It helps me with my own children. Hugs from Lawrenceville, GA. Tracy Neal
A lot of us have those please, please, please and thank you, thank you, thank you kind of prayers don't we? That one was a doozy! I certainly pray that for Izzy and Chip. Catie was an extraordinary girl. There are so many others who spend their lives living what she did. And with such grace. What a testament her life was and is to so many.
We pray health and happiness for y'all tonight.
Love you!
Erin
Oh Jenny, I truly can't imagine the ache you must feel sometimes when you think of your Beautiful Katie. What a beautiful, beautiful lesson in love she taught you and Trey. The pictures are PRECIOUS, just PRECIOUS.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Post a Comment