This weekend was absolutely gorgeous!! Our original plan was a great visit w/ my college roommate and her family. But the ickies invaded at her house, so we had to postpone until next month. We were really disappointed, but now we have something to look forward to in May. :)
It turned out to be such a nice weekend. It wasn't perfect (there were meltdowns and Chip hasn't been 100%... it was NORMAL), but it was as close to perfect as you can get. And I loved it too b/c it was peppered w/ Catie moments throughout. Saturday found Iz and I in the yard as Tre' and Chip napped. We watered the new plants in Catie's garden and spent time swinging. That girl LOVES to be outside!!! :) Yesterday afternoon there was a sidewalk chalk arts festival downtown. We headed down there and met some good friends. We checked out the AMAZING drawings on the sidewalk, hit the playground, ordered pizza from a great little joint downtown, and then crashed on the lawn (well.. the adults were getting tired, but the kids were still fully charged!)for an outdoor showing of Finding Nemo. Anyone who's followed us since Catie, knows that she LOVED that movie. We have so many lines from it that we would always say with her that we just love ("You guys made me ink!" and "He touched the butt." and so many more!)... and "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" kind of became our motto w/ all we went through w/ Catie. Neither Tre' nor I had watched the whole movie since Catie died -- I had watched bits and pieces. We didn't make it through the whole movie (Iz was worn out, so we left about halfway through), but I think we did pretty good last night! Iz had a blast and Chip was his usual laid back self (I hope I didn't just jinx myself by typing that!!). It was so great to pal around w/ friends and just have a good time. We also ran into someone who had followed our blog for a long time and told us she had prayed so hard for us... That was pretty neat and meant a lot to Tre' and I that she took the time to stop and say, "hi."
I remember BEFORE... before all this how I loved it when the weather started turning gorgeous like this... It just felt like it could pick you up and carry you along to wonderful places... The year Catie died, I don't even remember spring... nothing about it at all. I remember thinking that I guessed that would just be how it was now... I would never get that pick me up feeling from spring or the first brisk fall night or from blaring music while riding down the road w/ the windows down. I just kind of figured that was gone w/ Catie... that carefree feeling was one of those things that I wouldn't be able to get back. This weekend, though, I tasted it a bit. And it felt. so. good. It doesn't change our longing for Catie... that will NEVER go away, but it's nice to soar a bit on the wings of a beautiful day.
The other thing that was nice about this weekend was the "Catie moments" sprinkled throughout. I've already shared a couple, and it really seems like there were a lot this weekend... However, I will share w/ you the funniest one. The funniest, by far, was tonight when Iz and I were riding the golf cart. Catie LOVED frogs. We still have her "frog stick" (used to nudge the frogs to jump) on our front porch, she ended up calling one of Tre's aunts Aunt Frog and the name still sticks. We have tons of tree frogs around here and they always remind us of Catie. Several have somehow gotten in our house or car since she died, and they love to get on the underside of the doorknob so you get a nice slime when you open it. We had TONS of frog encounters that first spring after she died. They still come, though they are not quite as frequent as then. I kind of think (though I could totally be wrong) that it's kind of God's way of letting Catie send us a hello or an "i'm ok..." Frog and butterfly sightings (esp. when they show up in unusual places or at unusual times) always make us think of Catie. I could so be completely wrong, but it's just funny how they pop up when we need a pick me up. So ANYWAY... Iz and I had run to our neighbors on the golf cart. We were coming back when I saw something small coming towards us through the air. And then THERE. WAS. SOMETHING. SLIMY. ON. MY. FACE!!!!!!! I'm trying not to drive in the ditch while trying to peel whatever in the heck is sliming my face off and then it's gone and I look at Izzy's shoe (and her face -- hahaha) and on her croc is the little green tree frog that totally just landed on my nose. Izzy laughed and laughed and laughed!!!!!!! Good gosh.... I love moments like those. And I love that even though I may be totally wrong about God letting Catie send us a hello, it still makes me feel closer to her.
There were times this weekend that my heart would squeeze and I would think, "Oh I wish Catie were here too." or "Oh this would have been completely perfect if I heard her little giggle mixed w/ Izzy's." But, I guess one of the things I realized this weekend is that a really good day is full of those bittersweet moments that make me miss Catie. That makes my day fuller and makes her feel closer. And, sure, sometimes it makes me sad, but other times... other times I just love her even though she's not here. And, that... is just fine w/ me.
5 comments:
Jenny - I LOVE this post. I love the HOPE that is still there, even though you guys have been through so much. You know what, I don't think you're wrong at all about Catie's hello's - and I think today, God let her give you a kiss so you would know that she is there always - and she wants you to start having more of those carefree moments.
Thinking of you always.
what a beauitiful post..thank you for sharing those moments with us. You know I had never watched the entire Sound of Music until I met the Wilkins family
Hi Jenny. Love your post, I have no doubt that is Catie saying 'hello'! I bet you she was belly laughing her ass off when that tree frog was on your face, I can picture it now, you driving up the street, lol! I thought you could use a marks a lot and go over Catie's 'Catie was here' and the date in the playhouse. It would mean alot to me also. Izzy is so darn cute, her little face reminds me so much of Catie. Chip looks like he has'nt missed many meals either, lol! Hugs from Fort Worth.
I am so happy to read about your memories of Catie bringing a smile to your face. I've prayed and prayed for God to fill your heart and mind with those wonderful pictures again.
Maybe the frog was just Catie's way of giving you a slimy kiss.
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