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Monday, January 5, 2009

January

So it hit me today that on Saturday I was exactly at the point in this pregnancy that I was in my pregnancy with Izzy on the day that Catie died. I honestly do not remember ever being "this" pregnant w/ Iz. I know it's just because of all that was going on, but it's amazing to look back and see the grace that was given to us to carry us through those days. I cannot believe that Chip's birthday, Catie's Heaven Day, and Izzy's birthday are all falling w/in 2 weeks of each other.

2 years seems like so long ago. Someone was at our house a few weeks ago and looked at Izzy and said, I can't believe she is almost 2. And there was a big pregnant pause b/c the immediate thought that came next for all of us was "and that Catie's been gone nearly 2 years." I was so worried that every time I looked at Iz I would get kind of a mental picture of how long it's been since Catie left us. It really hasn't been like that at all... for lots of reasons I guess... we're so head over heels in love w/ Izzy that it's impossible to look at her and think of loss, she keeps us so busy (she walks no where -- she has one speed and it's fast) that there's not time to think about that, and we're learning... We still feel her loss every single day, and I don't think anything will ever change that. When something so sacred is ripped from your life, the hole doesn't disappear, you just learn to live with it. But we are learning and we will continue to learn.

4 comments:

Talley Images said...

Has it really been almost 2 years already.... weve never even met and Ive prayed more for your family than so many people that I do know....

God sure is something, huh? He gives so much grace that we didnt even know we needed... I know Chip is going to bring so much joy into your lives and it is going to be amazing to watch Izzy love on him....

I hope this new year brings you much hope and joy

amy said...

YOu have got a huge fan club praying for every member for your family.

YOu have no idea how much all of your touched the lives of the people at CHOA!!!

and guess what, we are getting a baby, from China..

YEAH!!! and her name is LynnMarie, I just had too many special little people with that little name. If you want to see her, head oer to www.thechristopherfamily.blogspot.com

Stephanie said...

I didn't realize that you were so close to giving birth to Chip much less that it has been almost two years since you lost Catie and had Izzy. Sometimes with grief, time drags and at others it flies. It was three years in December since we lost my younger brother but many days, the pain is as fresh as it was the day that he died. I can only imagine how it must before you as parents.

I know that Catie is smiling down on Izzy as she runs from place to place and she will do the same for Chip.

Stephanie said...

Yikes! My brain automatically typed "before" instead of "BE FOR." Forgive me.