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Monday, December 28, 2009

It's Been a While...

A long while in fact! And I guess there are lots of reasons for that. 2 kiddos underfoot, taking a class, and teaching full time are probably the big things to blame for why I haven't written in so long. I do miss writing -- it really is just hard to find the time (to do the laundry, much less write!!).

And I guess, if I'm totally honest, there are other reasons too. It's been a tough year for a lot of families that we know. Folks we went through treatment with and very close family members have had some really tough stuff to face this year. The Morgans lost Ryan and Missy, the Maxeys lost a 2nd daughter to cancer, others we know and went through treatment with have relapsed at 5 years out... In some ways, it's been hard to come here and tell funny stories about Izzy and Chip when I know so many others have been hurting. I know, because of Catie (and these others listed here), to cling to these amazing times with our kids, but I just couldn't write about it.

Most recently, tragedy hit much to close to home. My sister and her husband, known to most folks here as Aunt Nik Nik and Uncle D, learned in mid September that the baby boy she was carrying, Aiden John, had Trisomy 18. She was due in early February, but he was stillborn early Christmas morning. I still reel to write that or say it out loud... Christmas morning. My initial reaction was anger... anger because I didn't want that day to have to be Christmas day for them and anger because I didn't, and don't, want them to know that hurt that they now know all too well. It shouldn't have happened again. And as I thought more, though I still worry for them and Christmas Day, I was reminded that because of Christmas day, because of the birth of another Baby Boy, both Aunt Nik's and our family will one day be whole again...

I just hurt for them... because I never wanted them to have to know this hurt... and because I know we can't fix it for them...

In spite of it all, there was laughter and joy this weekend, mixed in with the sorrow and tears... Sometimes life is messy and hard, but it is the life we've been given and I will continue to try to do what I learned from Catie -- live full and keep laughing. I don't do it nearly as well as she did, but I'm working on it.

I've thought a lot about Heaven this weekend. I imagined Catie peeking through the gates as sweet Baby Aiden was welcomed into the arms of Jesus. And then I totally imagine her carrying him everywhere. That girl loved babies... loved them I tell you!

We've kind of let Iz guide us this weekend to let us know what she needed to know. At one point during the service this morning, she looked at me and said, "Momma, Baby Aiden not get to grow up?" Oh sweet baby, how I wish my answer could be different for you...

So... I promise to try my very best to get some new pictures up soon!! Chip is ginormous and Iz is starting to look (and act) so grown up!! I hope you and yours had a wondrous holiday season full of the wonder and magic and the promise of the eternal that is Christmas!!

Now, I'm off to try to find homes for all these toys!!

BTW, if you'd like to drop in on Nik and D, their blog is www.theoddkouple.com .