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Friday, April 11, 2008

Catie

So it's been a while since I watched the "A Few of our Favorite Things" video that Uncle D made with pictures of Catie and some of her favorite music. I still can't believe that he was able to put that together in 2 days (no doubt I owe him big time for the sleep deprivation that weekend!). Well, I watched it this morning and it was so good... sometimes if I don't look back at pictures a lot, the memories that stick are the times when she was the sickest. Random memories will sometimes pop in my head... like the times I made her throw up b/c I didn't know yet that you shouldn't put cold liquids into a g-tube, or the time I had to access her port and her skin was raw from tegaderms and I had to scrub it with alcohol... There was too much she had to go through and goodness knows she took it with the grace of someone 5 times her age. The video makes me proud. Proud b/c despite the incredibly rotten hand she and our family were dealt in cancer, she really was happy. She smiled and she laughed and she lived and she loved and she was loved. I remember the setting for most every picture in the video... if she's laughing, I could probably tell you why... I can tell you if she's in the hospital (and if she is, if it's in Savannah or Atlanta), or at the beach or at home or somewhere else... I can tell you what point we were at in treatment... I can tell you that in one picture, she has hair as far as you can tell, but the back was completely bald where her hair had been rubbing off as she slept... I'm so thankful for pictures and for the memories they trigger. I know that I would not remember so many of those moments were it not for having them recorded. I'm thankful for the reminder that so much of her life was good, was happy... I love the pictures of her laughing or grinning or playing at the hospital. If she could do that in the midst of all she was going through, we can learn to do the same through tough stuff.. She made the best of life with cancer. We can learn to make the best of life without her here. Sure do miss her though...

8 comments:

Circus Mama said...

I love that you have that video and all those memories. I love that you are able to recall so many of the details about time, place, and related happenings for each snapshot. I'm glad you have all those images to remind you that even though Catie was terribly sick at the end, she really did have a life of love and joy. I know you'll never cease to miss her while you're here on earth, but keep using those videos and pictures to remind you of the positives . . . she sure had lots of them.

Love ya!!

Mary said...

Jenny,
We are long time followers/fans of Catie and are sorry that we never had the chance to meet her on earth. We LOVE the "Favorite Things" video and have watched it often. Thank you for sharing your sweet Midget with us. We're from the Chicago area, and if you don't yet have a contact for Catie's elves in this neck of the woods, my daughter would like to help out...perhaps through Scouts or Student Council.
Love and God's blessings to you...
Mary and Molly

John & Kelley said...

I think about your Catie often, though I only know her through your descriptions, pictures, and videos. It proves what a good job you do of telling her story when I can say I feel like I did know her personally. I've said before that I can't fathom everything she and the rest of her family went through as she traveled along the journey no child should ever travel. And when I think of her and her beautiful story, I look to my three-year-old and feel that selfish possessiveness I always get when I look at my kids. You let Catie go to God because you had no choice, but I imagine that the process of letting the presence of a precious child go from your life is one that lasts a lifetime. There's some grace, too, in that you never have to let her go completely, that part of her always lives in you and through you (and through others). If any of us mere human beings can ever be heroes, Catie was certainly one.

--Kelley

shelly vanb said...

I miss your girl even though we'd never met. I continue to pray for you.

Elle Rivers said...

Oh sweet Wilkins Family- I check on you so often but am terrible about letting you know. We have seen so many Catie-bugs lately (butterflies) and everytime one crosses our path, the kids scream "There's a Catie-bug!" I love it. Her picture is still on the fridge here and Meg mentioned to me just the other day that she knew Catie was taking care of our dog Matilda and Brent's grandmother in heaven. We miss you guys terribly and hope to catch up at Lauren's Run. I can't believe Izzy is getting so big and I love the video and the cat meow- that's too cute. Sending hugs your way

Elle Rivers said...

Oh sweet Wilkins Family- I check on you so often but am terrible about letting you know. We have seen so many Catie-bugs lately (butterflies) and everytime one crosses our path, the kids scream "There's a Catie-bug!" I love it. Her picture is still on the fridge here and Meg mentioned to me just the other day that she knew Catie was taking care of our dog Matilda and Brent's grandmother in heaven. We miss you guys terribly and hope to catch up at Lauren's Run. I can't believe Izzy is getting so big and I love the video and the cat meow- that's too cute. Sending hugs your way

Elle
www.caringbridge.org/visit/teamrivers

Tammy said...

Jenny, the video is something special. I think my favorite memory of Catie was when her puppy sent her a birthday card, she was cracking up soo hard, that memory will stick with me forever! Thanks for sharing your sweet Angel with us, I will always think of her everytime I see butterflies too. Hugs from Fort Worth!

BP said...

Pictures really are priceless treasures. I'm glas they are helping you remember all the little moments. Catie was so blessed to be so loved.