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Saturday, January 19, 2008

365 Days

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Oh sweet girl,
How on earth have we made it a whole year without you? Without your sweet voice, your catching giggle, your mischievous grin, and your sweet arms around our neck. We miss you as much today was we did this same day last year, but we have definitely learned a bit about grief and missing. I think, for me at least, the biggest lesson has been in how to let grief be a part of the every day without letting it govern my life. I've learned that I can miss you and still find happiness in my days. Life will never, ever, ever be as sweet as it was before you left us, but I know that wallowing would not make you proud. There are days that we wallow, but there are days where we do a decent job of trying to live like you taught us... full even when things are hard. Who knew how many lessons a Midget (I miss hearing your daddy call you that) would teach us.

For Daddy and I both, yesterday was harder than today seems so far. You died shortly after midnight, so it was the 19th, but to us it felt like the 18th. I started the day w/ a chicknen biscuit with chicknen on it. I so wished I was ordering you one w/ your kid's sweet tea as I drove through the drive through. Ms. Alice and Mr. Sam stopped by on their way through town which was such a nice surprise, and then we went to Aunt Lisa's for dinner. Chocolate cobbler was for dessert and I think that will be tradition every January 18th from here on out. Today we'll eat lunch at Cracker Barrel, of course, and then head to the cemetary. Your marker is finally in place. Hopefully the rain will let up so we can send some balloons your way.

I wish today wasn't significant, because if it wasn't, you'd still be here with us. But we're not going to focus on what happened on the 19th today or even on what happened Sept. 26, 2002, the day you were born. We're going to focus on what happened in between... all that good stuff and all the memories we have of you and on how full of joy you are now. GaGa sent me a link yesterday called The Dash. I thought it was quite appropriate for this weekend. So today, on your very first Heaven Day, we'll celebrate your dash and be grateful that we were a part of every bit of it. We love you sweet girl, as much today as we ever have. Send some frogs or butterflies our way... (and convince that sister of yours that walking is NOT scary at all -- she's so ready but is a bit of a chicken right now!! :).

The Dash

We love you!
Momma, Daddy, and Iz


UPDATE
Thanks for all your prayers and sweet notes about my dad. He is currently off the vent and was able to have some liquids last night. His kidneys are still not working, but we hope that will improve in coming days as well.

21 comments:

Tina B. said...

We're helping you carry the burden of today with lots of prayers, thoughts, and smiles as we remember your sweet girl! We love you! Scott, Tina, Ben, and Em

Marti said...

Woke up thinking of you all and Catie. You are in my prayers as you remember your sweet Catie.

Rachael said...

I am definitely thinking of your family today and remembering Catie.

tracy said...

You have all been on my mind all week, and especially today. Praying that your sweet, sweet memories will carry you through. Love you

Proud Grandma said...

Thinking of you today - you are all in my prayers today as we remember sweet Catie.

brenda said...

praying for you guys today as always what a great celebration there must be in heaven today. As the father holds her close, I pray he would hold you all close too. It wont be long........"in a little while" we'll be with the father. I hope she's there at the gate to show us around when we get there! Love you guys!
brenda

BP said...

I have been thinking of you all today. I am praying for your family.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you today, especially today. We are getting snow for the second time in 3 days which is unheard of in Georgia. As I got out and about I was thinking about snow angels and how Catie would have been a cute one. One of Catie's elves made snow angels this year in our bathroom with baby powder so it seemed fitting that it reminded me of her.
Wendy in Winder, GA.

Liz from Maryland said...

Thinking of you!

Christina said...

Hi Jenny,

Like everybody else has said, we're keeping you and Tre-and of course sweet Catie-in our thoughts today. Hope it helps to know that today did not go unnoticed by so many people...the strength and wisdom you show in your postings never ceases to amaze and inspire me. Hope Izzy gives you an extra big sticky wet kiss and hug today.

ghaag said...

We all miss you, Catie girl!

Love, Gwen

robinandamelia said...

Thinking of you all and remembering your sweet Catie. I never had the priviledge to meet her, but she definitely left her mark.

Circus Mama said...

Hey Girl –
You know I’ve been trying to remember this song for months and months. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times snippets of it have come to me somewhere in the mist of semi-conscious sleep. I still don’t have all the words, but when they are finally “delivered” to my conscious mind I will be sure to post them for you. In the meantime, I’m sharing what I have. When I close my eyes I can see only the great expanse of ocean. But I can hear Danny playing the guitar & singing the words, along with the gentle crashing of waves. I can feel the warmth of the rising sun and the cool of the powdery sand between my toes. And in my mind and heart, we are all there together – Catie too. How amazing it must be, to sing the earthly songs you’ve learned in heaven. I don’t know if she’s singing this one, but I have no doubt she fully understands its meaning.

How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see,
How great, how great,
is our God . . .

Love, Hugs, & Always Prayers

Sarah said...

first time posting to your blog...

thinking of your entire family on this day and always.

Proud Grandma said...

The marker is beautiful - I love the picture and the "Catie Bug".

sara said...

Thinking of you and praying for you. The Dash movie was beautiful, and the marker is beautiful. I miss you Catie !


sara

Lisa in San Diego said...

As I said in the email, you all are (and have been) heavy on my heart and mind. And Catie Bug's memory lives on (and is shared) even on the other side of the country. Praying Jesus continues to hold you extra close and give you strength for each moment!

Much love and many prayers!

Pam Doughty said...

The marker is beautiful...

anna said...

I've been thinking of you guys this weekend and sending prayers your way.

Talley Images said...

the marker is beautiful, thank you for sharing.... and for sharing your lives with us.... thinking/praying for you guys

Tammy said...

Jenny, thinking about your sweet girl today. And enjoying some chikenn and biscuts! Hugs from Fort Worth!!