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Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Looking Back

So did Uncle D do a good job on Catie's video or what? The music is perfect -- all music she liked -- I can still hear her in the backseat singing This is My Father's World, only she said "fadder" instead of "father," so she sounded like she was in the mob or something. =) I honestly don't know how Uncle D got that put together in the amount of time that he did. The stack of pictures that we gave him was INSANE and most had to be scanned in because just before Catie died, my old computer crashed and all my pictures were on it. The first time I watched it, I was simply amazed -- he totally captured Catie in it and I felt like it was an accurate picture of how she lived. The smiles... the hands in paint (or purple sand or flour)... hooked up to chemo in the toddler infusion chairs watching "her show" on the little televisions at the clinic... sound asleep in her hospital bed... dressed up or wearing sunglasses... I remember the circumstances of most every picture there... I may not be able to tell you the date or the month or the year, but I can remember what we were doing. There is one where she is sound asleep in an wagon hooked up to her IV. That night the hospital was really full. We didn't get a room until after 8:00 and there was no bed to put in the room until after 10:30. I love the one where she is in a hospital gown, has on chemo gloves, and her arms are thrown up in the air. She looks so happy in that picture. In spite of all that went on, we really did have some fun at the hospital. There are a couple of Catie, Aunt NikNik, and me... one w/ a nutcracker at a Lighthouse Christmas party and one of the 3 of us touching our noses with our tongues (must be a family trait). I love those 2 pictures. The tongue one was taken as we waited for Catie to go back for her 3rd craniotomy. Immediately after it was taken, Dr. Hudgins walked through the curtain (he had just finished operating on Baby Noor -- remember that?). Catie asked him if he could do that? I remember the funny look on his face as he tried to touch his tongue to his nose... You've got to love a neurosurgeon who will be silly with his patients in between serious surgeries in the depths of children's brains and spinal cords... The ones with the full head of hair get me every time right now... Especially those after we started chemo back b/c I remember just waiting on it to fall out... The video clip in the middle is from her 2nd birthday. We were partying big b/c we didn't get to for her first birthday. She'd just opened her chair from Lisa and Dennis and she was so funny. The chair is the one we take Izzy's picture in each month.

This time last year was GREAT... we hit a minor bump w/ something crazy w/ a lymph node in her neck. It had to be removed, but ended up being ok. She was going to preschool and loving it and we were getting ready to go to Disney on her Make-A-Wish trip. We had no idea what was lurking a few weeks away... It was probably the most carefree time we knew... the chemo was easy, she was doing more things like a "normal kid" than ever before.... boy am I thankful for that time.

This is the time of year we normally started planning her birthday party, what she wanted the theme to be... It's hard to fathom that she would have been 5 in 6 weeks.
It's still hard to believe she's gone.


amy said...

I enjoy reading your memories and sharing stories. Elizabeth and I were talking at work about the music on her video and we just love it!

Stephanie Deal said...

I completely agree...the video is fantastic. I really continuely enjoy reading your blogs and posts...i'm so glad that you are able to express yourself through words..."i think its the literature teacher coming out in you":) anyways...Praying and thinking of you all always.
Your Sister in Christ, Love,
Stephanie Deal

Anonymous said...

I have followed Catie's story for quite a while, thank you so much for sharing her with us. How can I love so much a little girl I have never met? Only through the love of Christ, i suppose. I watched her video again today, and with the picture at the end of the 3 of you walking on the beach, it just really struck me that that is how you have lived. You walked Catie through this life so well, filling her time here with such happiness and joy, evident in that beautiful smile in all those pictures. What a legacy she has left for her sweet little sister. I just wanted you to know that your family continues to be in my prayers, for peace and for joy in the days that you now share with sweet little Izzy!
Your sister in Christ,

BP said...

I enjoyed reading your Caringbridge site. Thank you so much for sharing your sweet girl and family with us. Wow, the video is amazing! What beautiful memories of such a special girl.

Have a good day.

robinandamelia said...

Congratulations on your new site and thank you for allowing us to continue to be invited. I'm sure a lot of us, like me, are strangers, but have come to know you through the cyber world. Catie was very special and she will always have a place in my heart. You said something once that stuck with me after she passed. How every time you get out of the car, you unlocked the passenger door to get Catie out. I do the same thing. Even when my daughter is not in the car I unlock her door. Every time I do this now, I think of you and Catie.
All the best. I wish you great happiness.
Robin Brunet, Bradford Ontario

The Running Girl said...

I finally watched the video. What a beautiful tribute to Catie. Even though her time here on earth was short, it is eveident that the time she had was so full of life. Sending prayers for you.
Briana Roehling

Natalie Maxey said...

Just want you to know I'm still thinking about you--even though I'm all the way over here in Louisiana! Thank God for the internet, huh?

Chari Warner said...

Well, I prayed and prayed for a little girl just like Izzy and we found out yesterday that it's a boy!!

John & Kelley said...

It's wonderful to read about the specifics of the video. I've watched it a few times and it always makes me laugh and cry. All for a little girl I never knew who has taught me much about love and life. Thanks for your sweet memories, honest grieving, and hopeful insights. It's a privilege for me to be a part of it all.

Barbara Potempa said...

I enjoyed reading about Catie and your family on your Caringbridge site and look forward to reading more here. Thank-you for putting the video on this site. I haven't been able to see it before and I had tears in my eyes as I watched it for the first time. What a wonderful tribute to your sweet little Catie. I continue to pray for peace for your family and joy for you Tre' and Izzy.